Hello March, when did you get here?

Am I the only one who is starting their new year in late February? Yes? No?

I made all these plans for this year and then January flew past, at least for me it did. By the time I’d finished setting my 2018 goals and breaking things into my quarterly goals, it was already February. Now that I’ve got my plans and tasks set I feel like February has ground to a screeching halt. I’m sure a lot of this is because I hit a major depressive episode in January (turning 38 will do that apparently) and most of the month blurred into a gray haze.

By the time I got my arse in gear February had filled up and I can’t get anything done on a regular basis. It’s probably a secret good thing. The more conflicts to my time and goals I have the more I focus on them when I have a spare minute.

Anyway, somewhere in the third month of February I managed to get my bullet journal set up with my tasks and even a cleaning schedule I’m able to stick to. My house is a disaster zone reflection of my earlier mental state. Cleaning is helping but it’s easy for me to get overwhelmed. The schedule gives me just a few things a day and I don’t break down thinking I have to FIX EVERYTHING NOW.

I’m teetering on the edge of being an accomplished human but it’s very tenuous. I’m stressing that any wrong step is just going to send everything crashing backward. Maybe its because this time I feel like I can actually get stuff done that any little hiccup or setback hits like a disaster.

I optimistic at the moment which is a big deal for me. There’s just that fear that I won’t have any success and will just fall back into old habits.

Ok, that’s enough whining on my part. Hey, at least I’m blogging again.